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Coming to grips: They’re just not that into you

Sophia Xepoleas

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Illustration by J.Q. Hammer

There seems to be a sweeping epidemic in the world of prospective dating. I’m referring to the blatant obliviousness that occurs when people refuse to see what is right in front of their eyes.

We all have those friends who do not get it. They wait around for a text all day and when it never comes they makes excuses as to why.

While sometimes hard to watch, it may be even harder to look your friend in the eye and tell the apparent truth. Everyone can see it, but it’s hard to see the bigger picture when you’re the one standing in the frame.

I will take this opportunity to be the asshole that bestows upon you the cold, hard truth.

They’re just not that into you.

Before you become a victim of this sad reality, keep an eye out for these signs:

They’re always “too busy” to talk

If you have to scroll through an abundance of sent text messages in order to find the last one received, stop yourself now. You’re in too deep.

While you may have thought you had an “unexplained connection” during your one-night stand, your partner may have thought differently.

When they fail to call or text you in the days that follow, you start to realize that what may have been fireworks in your eyes were probably just some dimly lit sparklers in theirs.

They never want to kick it

If their study schedule is building up, their phone coincidentally falls in the toilet or their goldfish has died twice in one week, there’s something fishy going on.

If someone is genuinely interested in you, they will make it a point to be in your space.

You start questioning yourself

Stop yourself when you begin to analyze every detail, every tone and the “true” meaning of every conversation you’ve ever had.

When they said “I’ll see you soon,” they probably just meant they’d see you soon. Stop wondering what gruesome physical ailment of yours they could have seen that made them run so far.

The truth of the matter is, there may be nothing wrong with you at all. This is just when you need to accept the fact that you just may not be their cup of tea.

The phone only buzzes after 9 p.m.

Andre Nickatina once said, “put the phone on your butt, it’s a booty call.”

Disparity can be a blinding son of a bitch and sometimes it’s hard to accept that the romantic “come over and watch a movie” text was actually the first sign that you’re just a slam piece.

Essentially it just comes down to reading signs and valuing yourself enough to know when to walk away.

Neediness is one of the most unattractive qualities in a person.

Not everyone is going to like you in this life, but you should be one of them. Showing someone that you are perfectly fine on your own is a statement in itself.

Sophia Xepoleas can be reached at [email protected] or @soph_mxx on Twitter.

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Coming to grips: They’re just not that into you