Consent can still be sexy

Illustration by Miles Huffman

Consent has more to it than just a single “Want to have sex?” question. While consent needs to be taken seriously, it doesn’t mean it can’t be playful.

I was in a class on human sexuality that had a unit on consent, in which we covered the legal definitions. In California, a person who’s legally intoxicated is unable to give consent.

Then the professor asked the class how we obtain consent.

One gentleman promptly said that he asks a lady if she “wants to go to pound town.”

I admit, I laughed. Hard.

Does that really work? I guess it does.

There needs to be a further understanding of consent than something so simple.

Just because a person consents to one act or activity doesn’t mean that consent extends to any activity. Agreeing to oral sex doesn’t mean agreeing to handcuffs, whips or blindfolds.

It’s not really that difficult at all.

A person should know themselves and what they like to do sexually. By becoming aware of those activities, it’s easier to remember them and get consent.

Imagine things getting a little hot and heavy with someone. A little whispering in the ear of what could go down could be arousing but also allows for acceptance or rejection of certain acts.

A more straightforward approach is to simply find a private place to talk about sexual consent.

Questions like “What would you say to doing this,” “How would you feel about that” and “Would you be OK trying this” in a clear-headed conversation allows for trust and honest communication about consent.

Joseph Rogers can be reached at [email protected] or @JosephLRogers1 on Twitter.