Boobs: No man’s trash, every man’s treasure

Illustration by Miles Huffman

Surrendering to peer pressure, cheating on assignments and skipping class to sleep in – students battle with morals every day.

In such scenarios, the virtue in question is unmistakable and the choice to be good or bad is made knowingly.

It is the less significant, less predicable tests of character where ethical lines are blurred that determine the depth of a student’s integrity.

For instance, what to do when I am strolling past Plumas Hall on my lunch break and I spy on a bench by the bike racks a silver and red Las Vegas engraved bottle opener sculpted like a pair of boobs.

Now if this were a leather wallet with identification inside or a cell phone with a list of contacts I would make it my priority to find the rightful owner. But what college guy doesn’t want to crack open every beer with boobs?

I am tempted to say anyone careless enough to lose this bottle opener does not understand the value of the keepsake and perhaps they deserve not the treasure.

Instead I am just going to say, “Finders keepers.”

Call me unethical. Call me corrupt.

I don’t think I am unjust, I just think I am an opportunist.

Miles Inserra can be reached at [email protected] or @m_inserra on Twitter.