Nothing quite punctuates the holidays like the arrival of eggnog to the grocery store dairy case. The tall holiday-colored cartons— adorned with printed Christmas lights and dancing cows wearing Santa hats— are complete with excess sugar and, of course, the indulgence.

Each year, it seems that there is a growing number of eggnog varieties, and while I for one believe the more nog the merrier, some brands simply aren’t worth trying. Indeed, nothing is quite as disappointing as discovering you’ve invested in a crap brand of eggnog.

So, to lessen the chances of that unfortunate situation happening to you, here’s a review of a few popular brands of holiday nog. Think of it as a holiday gift, from one foodie to the next, in hopes that it may help you safely navigate your way through the pandemonium of eggnog brands and find a nog worth tasting and toasting to this holiday season.

Silk Nog

Cost: $3.29

Nutrition: 80 calories, 1.5 grams of fat, 11 grams of sugar per serving

Appearance: Slight straw yellow in color and very thin consistency

Smell: unnoticeable

Taste: Like vanilla soy milk, it has no prominent spice flavors. You wouldn’t know it was eggnog unless you read the label.

Horizon Organic Low-fat Eggnog

Cost: $4.99

Nutrition: 140 calories, 3 grams of fat, 22 grams of sugar per serving

Appearance: Milky white, thinner than you’d expect (but that could be do to the low-fatness of it)

Smell: Bubble gum, bananas, candy

Taste: Bubble gum, no hints of spice like banana purred with water

Bud’s Famous Egg Nog

Cost: $4.29

Nutrition: 230 calories, 13 grams of fat, 21 grams of sugar per serving

Appearance: Honeyed and thick like buttermilk

Smell: Sweet and vanilla-y

Taste: Creamy and thick like melted vanilla ice cream, more prominent spice notes like nutmeg and cinnamon

The final verdict

The worst, by far was Horizon’s brand of organic eggnog. Tasting and looking nothing even remotely like the others, I don’t think it’s going too far to call this an abomination to the holiday nog family.

Seriously, unless you’re looking for a mouthful of milk that tastes bizarrely like pink bubble gum, steer clear of this carton. And don’t think that a heavy pour of brandy will make it better, because it doesn’t. I tried.

Coming in close second was the Silk nog. Although nothing like Bud’s in texture or flavor, this faux eggnog was surprisingly delightful and has the cleanest nutritional profile.

However, if you’re looking for the classic creamy and luxurious eggnog, Bud’s wins by a landslide. Maybe it’s the high fructose corn syrup, maybe it’s the full-fat milk. Whatever it is, one thing is for certain: this eggnog is rich, decadent, blow-out-your-pancreas sweet and the kind of drink that you’ll want to spike, sip and celebrate with all season long.

Grace Kerfoot can be reached at [email protected] or @gracekerf on Twitter.