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The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Dear college mom

Photo credit: Dongyoung Won
Photo credit: Dongyoung Won

Rewind to the start of my first year in college. My parents have driven me 510 miles from Southern California to Chico, my new home for the next four years. As they help me unpack all my clothes and framed memories from my hometown, we all start to feel emotional about the thought of not seeing each other on a daily basis.

I remember hugging my parents and sobbing as they left me in my dorm room. I remember feeling concerned about how I would wake up in the morning, or make that health center appointment or who I would vent to without having my mom by my side.

Just as I was feeling hopeless at being able to handle independent “adult life,” my best friend — who would become my second mom — wandered into my room, and suddenly everything was going to be OK.

Having college roommates is the equivalent of having second moms. They are the people you spend almost all your time with — the first people you see when you wake up and the last people you see before you go to bed. Your roommates become the most reliable people and know almost everything about you.

My college second mom has been by my side through it all: the good, the bad, the tears, the hangovers, the parties, the break-ups, the all-nighters and everything in between. My college second mom has been with me through some of the most important years of growth, learning and experiences in my life.

As we grew closer and closer, we created a bond that transformed us from strangers, to classmates, to best friends, to the mother-daughter relationship we’ve acquired. Our mother-daughter relationship can be reversed at any time. There are times when I need a mom, or there are times when we switch and I need to act like the responsible mom with all the answers.

My second mom has filled the void of not having my real mom with me here in college. She is everything a person would want in any mom — not just a college mom.

I can come to her seeking advice or vice versa: advice on boys, or what classes to take or even advice on whether I should go out. My second mom knows the last drink I should have and when it’s time to go home. She might not know how to do all of my math problems, but she always manages to figure it out. My second mom knows just what to pack when I’m leaving for the weekend and always has something to say to make me feel better when I’m down or need a confidence pick-me-up.

I can depend on my college mom to take care of my health and overall well-being. She knows why I’m sick and what medicine I should get. She cares to know that I got home safe and is concerned if we haven’t talked in a few hours.

I know that my second college mom provides endless support and love for me. We can count on one another to always be there and keep the other’s best interest in mind. We know and accept when it’s someone’s turn to be daughter or mother and proudly take the role we need to assess the given situation.

Moving to college was a big, scary step. I thought this new independence meant losing a mom, but really I just gained another one. Meeting my friend who would turn into a roommate and then to someone I literally call “mom” has made adjusting to college life more than manageable. I am forever thankful for the second mom(s) Chico State has given me.

Julie Ramos can be reached at [email protected] or @julie_ramoss on Twitter.

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    Helen Medina // May 1, 2016 at 1:45 pm

    Take heart. The friendship between you and your roommates (aka second mom) can extend beyond college years. Good luck for your college years.