The Orion

Don’t settle for monogamy

Rachel Reyes

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Last weekend, my friend and I were having our morning coffee at Starbucks and started discussing the animosity we had towards those who frown upon casual dating.

Our loud voices seemed to have triggered the lady sitting right behind us because she turned around and began scolding us about how we should want to “settle down with somebody.”

That triggered me. Why do we always associate settling down with having to be in a full committed relationship? The friend that was with me when this happened, is the perfect example of someone who is settled, happy and enjoys casual hookups.

A casual afternoon for my friend, would consist mostly of refreshing the Grindr app, eating a vegan meal in a cute setting and probably not texting the guy he just hooked up with the day before. And yes, he does engage in daytime hookups.

Within the last two weekends, I haven’t slept in my own bed. Promiscuous? If you ask a right-wing conservative, then the answer is probably yes. If you ask a liberal, you probably wouldn’t get an answer, but rather questions asking: who? when? how was it?

Somehow we tend to associate monogamy with sex and many people still scandalize the idea of having sex with someone who isn’t your significant other or spouse.

If you were to ask me if I’ve ever been in love, well the answer is no. As a romanticist, I’d say I love the idea of love, but to fully immerse myself into someone else, well personally that’s just a little much for me and I don’t think I’d be very good at it.

I ramble on the topic because so many people who are my peers are so incredibly in love with a significant other. I always wonder how people can do that in today’s society, especially in Chico State, where a majority of the students aren’t looking for anything serious.

With that being said, I consider myself a casual dater. By that, I mean I’ll probably give a guy two weeks until I’m over it and I’m back to going out for round two with someone else.

What are your motives when going out to parties? Do you go out to parties with the mindset of going home with someone or is dancing and drinking enough for you?

I think there’s something so intriguing about being in a closed up space with a ton of sweaty, drunk college students all going out for, more or less, the same reasons.

If you look around the room, you’ll see people being cheated on or the one’s doing the cheating, people hooking up with the wrong people and if you’re lucky enough, hooking up with the right person.

That’s the fun thing about going out, you never know what you’re going to come home to that’s if you even come home at all.

So, why do we look down upon those who have interest in participating in casual dating and hookups as if they are not capable of making their own decisions.

If I wanted to strictly hook up with someone with no strings attached, why shouldn’t I? It’s 2016, Trump might become president but god forbid I take this guy home with me tonight, right?

I wish more people in college would have the mindset of seeing sex as something empowering and done by choice, not a gift for marriage.

One should feel more liberated than embarrassed when doing the walk of shame. College is the best place to experience and understand who you are as a person and it seems like a good amount of people will preach this same argument but tell me I should probably “just make out with him.”

Have any of your friends made comments like that? Just yesterday, I was contemplating if I should hook up with this guy from back home since I was visiting and my girlfriends all responded by saying “I think you guys should just make out.”

My friends like to see sex as taking it a step too far, which is probably why they think it’s a safer bet to leave after a makeout sesh because apparently, sex gets too messy and feelings can get involved.

If you’re participating in any form of casual dating, don’t feel bad or even limit yourself. It’s exciting not knowing someone’s background story, where they come from or what their name is.

Just this past Saturday, I hooked up with someone and I can’t even remember his name. Don’t worry, the sex wasn’t that great at all anyway.

Doesn’t it get boring listening to sex stories about the same guy or girl? Different experiences are so much more pleasurable and exciting so don’t be afraid to expand your sexual experiences.

Use those scissors to cut those strings and let yourself free from the mindset of sticking to just monogamous sex.

Rachel Reyes can be reached at [email protected] or @theorion_news on Twitter.

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Don’t settle for monogamy