The O Face: Call me daddy


Photo credit: Dongyoung Won

Pet name noun: a name that is used instead of a someone’s usual first name to express fondness or familiarity.

Familiar pet names used include baby, sweetheart, honey, angel, sugar, darling and daddy. If that last one grossed you out, you’re not alone.

I believe people misunderstand the daddy verbiage and have turned it into a perverted fantasy that it isn’t and have ostracized members who indulge in the relationship. We can thank Sigmund Freud for the taboo surrounding the sexual relationship. He originated the Oedipus Complex, the idea that we are all attracted to the parent of the opposite sex. It thoroughly freaked people out, and ever since we have vehemently tried to deny any sort of attraction to mother/father figures.

So what does it really mean to use the “daddy” title in the bedroom? There is a stigma around what the word denotes, enforcing the stereotype of the guy with underage fantasies or the girl with major daddy issues. A large population of people find the use of such language as incest and incredibly taboo. It’s common to find someone who will recoil in disgust, claiming they would never call their partner “daddy”: “I don’t want to start picturing my father!”

It’s interesting to note that while the daddy title gets a bad rap, many partners will call one another “baby” and not bat an eye about it sounding like an infant kink.

The Daddy/Little Girl relationship is just one under the extensive umbrella of BDSM roles. The popular erotic fiction Fifty Shades of Grey made headlines on 2011, captivating the mainstream audience with the strange dynamic of Anastasia Steel and Christian Grey.

Although Fifty Shades may not be the most accurate representation of the BDSM community, it has been a good starting point in opening up the conversation to different types of sexual relationships. it’s clear with over 100 million copies sold that attitudes towards bedroom role play are changing.

That being said, there are certain relationships that are still seriously misunderstood. The Daddy/Little Girl relationship is at the forefront.

Those who practice will argue that it’s not about being an actual dad figure at all, but more of what the role of the title connotes. A father figure is commonly seen as a protector and a provider. The submissive role is looking for guidance, love and security, and the dominant is looking to provide. Together, the dynamic surrounds a relationship with trust, tenderness, love and support.

Another idea is that people get off on the taboo. It’s the whole idea of the forbidden that makes it that much better. It’s commonly referred to as the Romeo and Juliet syndrome. Calling a partner “daddy” can be hot because the popular belief is that it’s wrong to do so.

For whatever reasons people do it, it’s important that we understand not to judge because it is so much more complex than a “kink”. At the heart of it all, it’s a term of endearment. It’s their version of “sweetheart” or “muffin”. Some people refer to their significant others as types of baked goods, and others refer to them as daddies. Get over it.

Lorinda Sasan can be reached at [email protected] or @theorion_news on Twitter.