The death of chivalry in relationships


Photo credit: Dongyoung Won

In a culture where double-tapping a photo or sending direct messages is a form of showing romantic interest, it’s clear the idea of a knight in shining armor has come to an end.

Chivalry is dead and it should remain that way.

I think social media is the reason why certain people have such high expectations when it comes to dating. I often come across a Facebook post or a tweet where someone is expressing their need to be surprised with material gifts from a significant other.

Chivalry gives off the idea that one significant other needs to remove the menial tasks a person faces throughout their day, resulting in high expectations of a relationship.

Relationships tend to work better when both people put in an equal effort. There is a fine line between common courtesy and chivalry. It’s one thing to be respectful and do kind things for others. When it’s targeted toward a specific gender, it becomes more than just being polite.

Huffingtonpost released a study that explains how chivalry can be seen as a form of sexism. Psychologist Jin Goh explains how people don’t typically associate sexism with the warmth and friendliness benevolent sexists display. Men who have more of a chivalrous charm are often portrayed as the nice guy who some girls look for.

If my hands are occupied and I struggle to open the door there’s nothing wrong with someone helping out. But in certain cases, its just not necessary or practical.

No one should need to show their worth by coming over with an expensive gift at hand or paying for every single date. Relationships need to be an equal effort from both people.

If someone asks to go out, then that person should pay and vice versa. It shouldn’t be seen as something out of the norm.

It’s 2016 and plenty of millennials are tweeting away their high expectations. Searching relationship goals on the Twitter search bar exemplifies the high expectations that people expect from their partner.

Most of these goals revolve around the idea that one person should always be doing above and beyond the norm when it comes to relationships. But because chivalry is dead, there is a chance for equality and comfortability for both people in a relationship.

People are capable of holding open their own doors or even picking up the check at the end of the table to pay for it. Dating is a mutual process, which is why the death of chivalry something to be thankful for.

Rachel Reyes can be reached at [email protected] or @theorion_news on Twitter.