The Orion

Celebrating being single

Photo+credit%3A+Briana+Mcdaniel
Photo credit: Briana Mcdaniel

Photo credit: Briana Mcdaniel

Photo credit: Briana Mcdaniel

Nicole Henson

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Singles Awareness day is stereotyped by people who are overly concerned about their relationship status, interpreting the holiday as a time to focus on being dejected and alone.

But contrary to popular belief, there are many reasons to be joyous on the day after Valentine’s Day.

A person has the rest of their life to stress about being single. They will be fatter, older and even more lonely as each year passes, so why not enjoy the single life while young. At this time, it’s perfectly acceptable to drink two bottles of wine by yourself while watching The Notebook. After your 20s, it’s a little pathetic and borderline concerning.

Think about how much money a person saves by not celebrating Valentine’s Day. No reason to buy chocolates, roses or jewelry or pretend you want to treat your significant other to Crush. Most of us can barely pay our rent while still eating one solid meal a day. Any college student with common sense would return that Marc Jacobs watch for a year supply of microwavable Dino nuggets and Folgers.

A person can’t be let down or stood up for a Valentine’s Day date when there is no date at all. A homemade dinner with a large serving of rocky road for dessert is on the menu Feb. 15.

People are struggling to make reservations at crowded restaurants then the next day they are empty and the wait times almost nonexistent. The fact that no one is going to see the food baby afterward is also a huge plus.

Browsing the chocolate aisle the day after Valentine’s day may seem like a cliche but, if you opt for the dark stuff, it is actually good for your body. Dark chocolate is loaded with antioxidants. Plus, they’re on sale and delicious. Throw some bananas and peanut butter in the freezer then mix it with your half-priced chocolate for a shameless single’s dessert.

Flowers will also be discounted Feb. 15. So treat yourself to some fresh peonies that you can decorate your bachelor and bachelorette pads with.

Other things that will be on sale today include lingerie and boxers. Although no one may see these things besides the one and only, they are an infallible way to treat yourself.

The fact is, we have the rest of our lives to worry about being alone and making another person happy. Take this time to worry about grades and your body odor from lack of showers.

Valentine’s Day is for the weak-hearted anyway.

Nicole Henson can be reached at [email protected] or @theorion_news on Twitter.

 

 

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Celebrating being single