OrionScopes: Week of April 10


Photo credit: Briana Mcdaniel

Editor’s note: The horoscopes below are compiled in a collaborative effort from The Orion’s opinion staff and have no actual bearing on current astrology.

Capricorn: After a month of eating nothing but knock off ramen, you’re excited to finally get your monthly paycheck. After only a couple of days, the money you earn will fall victim to your spending habits. Buying random things online isn’t helping keep you fed through the week. Try stocking up on cheap granola bars for the tight-budgeted month ahead of you.

Aquarius: You’ve pulled two all-nighters in the past week and you’re exhausted. Some of your classes might be canceled this week, but be cautious. Netflix will be your downfall since you will gladly spend the time checking out all of the horrible original shorts they put out. Try being productive this week when your schedule clears up.

Pisces: The last week has been difficult since you’ve been fighting with your close friend. Your argument might be right, but you take it too far sometimes. Choosing to replace the shampoo with Nair probably isn’t going to help the situation. Lay low and avoid conflict this week, instead of trying to exact your revenge.

Aries: The uneasy feeling you have this morning isn’t from thinking about all the things you have to get done today, you’re just hungover. Take some Advil, chug a bottle of water and go to your first three classes wearing dark sunglasses. While that may work, for now, remember that finals will be coming up soon, so try to avoid overdoing wine night.

Taurus: You have finally decided to shed the freshman 15 and get that pre-college body back. Unfortunately, this motivation won’t last longer than the other 14 attempts. Within a week, you’ll be skipping the gym to watch YouTube videos. This week, try working on committing yourself to your goals instead of giving up halfway through.

Gemini: You’ve been feeling homesick this month. The food on campus isn’t acceptable to your standards, and you miss your pet. Although you complain about being so far away, you only live a couple hours from your house. Just drive there over the weekend and stop telling everyone about how different it is back home.

Cancer: You’ve been doing great in your classes and finally have the chance to unwind this week. The $6 red wine that you chose for wine night this week is probably going to lead to terrible decisions and a massive hangover. Try hiding your phone from yourself to prevent the drunken calls to your ex, and drink water every once in a while.

Leo: Things are not going your way this month and you are fed up. Whether it’s the fire drills that keep interrupting your classes or the tests and essays that all fall on the same day. Instead of bottling up that anger and eventually having a mental breakdown, try letting those emotions out. No one wants to end up in the paper for punching a professor.

Virgo: Everything has been going great this week. You are getting paid from your job, your internship is a breeze and you’re even doing well in school. The only problem is that you constantly annoy your friends by bragging about how good you are doing. It’s not that they don’t want you to succeed, they just want you to be a little more humble. Try not talking about yourself for 30 seconds this week to let your friends know that you’re still human.

Libra: It’s been difficult for you to hit the books this month. The lack of motivation isn’t because you aren’t getting enough sleep, it’s because you are choosing to procrastinate. The only time you do assignments is the night before they’re due. Try finding some motivation this week, and remember that you’re still paying for college.

Scorpio: You’re social media accounts have been doing really well this month. You’re a comedian on Twitter and a model on Instagram. The confidence boost has done terrible things to your ego since you now feel that you deserve to only wear designer fashion and are funnier than Kevin Hart. Try wearing a pair of sweatpants and realizing you’re as funny as Dane Cook to better connect with the real world.

Saggitarius: You’ve been feeling confident at your job and doing well in school. Since you’ve been so focused on your studies and on being named the employee of the month, you’ve been ignoring your friends. Putting your phone on silent during work and in class is fine, as long as you eventually send a text to let people know you’re still alive. This week, try responding to the group chat before they kick you out.