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The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Chico State's independent student newspaper

The Orion

Walking away is easier than it sounds

Letting go can be the hardest thing. Whether it’s walking away from a relationship, or the major you’ve been planning since fourth grade, it is always hard. Knowing when to walk away is just as complicated as it sounds.

I have struggled with this my whole life, which is not an uncommon thing. Most people are unsure of when to let go of the things we thought we wanted. The fear can be that we we’re not strong enough or good enough to hold on to those things. The truth though is that it takes a lot of strength to put your own needs above whatever is going on in the situation around you.

Relationships, or otherwise are frequently the hardest thing to walk away from. There is one thing to keep in mind; love is a choice. If they are still the person you choose, evaluate if the rest of the issues still make them a bad fit for you. A great blog article by Julia Ford-Carther published in the Huffington Post describes this theory in a practical way. The three points she gives are essentially, no more respect, not willing to compromise and more bad times than good.

Once someone clearly disrespects you, that is a great time to start thinking about your value as a person. You have a right to your emotions, don’t allow someone to invalidate you. If you have had your feelings hurt, someone who loves you should want you to feel better. But do keep in mind that while you expect someone to treat you will respect, you damn well better be respecting them too.

Demanding someone treat you a certain way, is unhealthy for both of you. If someone isn’t giving you what you need in a partner or friend, evaluate your needs first. You need to make sure what you are asking for is reasonable. If it is then you should consider finding someone who better fits your needs. What one person finds essential, another person might not be comfortable with. The important factor truly is making sure both people are being respected, boundaries included.

Another thing that is hard to walk away from is a major or career goal. If you started school, but have found out that you no longer want to be doing what you are doing anymore. Switch your major, do it while you still have time to. Don’t allow yourself to get burnt out or give up. After all, going back to school once you graduate will be undoubtedly harder.

I have changed my major three times, there is no shame in it. Life is trial and error, one must allow themselves to grow in order to reach happiness. Many people are not the same person they were when they entered college.

No matter what you are walking away from, listen to yourself. If you feel unhappy, its usually because you are. Use resources on campus and in the community to discuss what you should to. Friends are always a good resource to reach out to, often times they know you better than you do! Value yourself and prioritize your well being and life will fall into place.

Rachael Bayuk can be reached at or @R_Bayuk on Twitter.

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