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The O-Face: Sexual competition, contentment

Michael Karp

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Michael Karp Photo credit: Kasey Judge

Having sex makes me happy.

Of the many things in life that I enjoy, sex is a front-runner, and it’s been this way since I lost my virginity.

I recently read a blog post that scientifically supports these desires of mine. Studies embedded within the article conclude that having sex make us happier people.

I wholeheartedly agree — having an orgasm causes a flood of hormones to the brain that gives us a euphoric feeling.

Pleasuring another person and connecting with them also makes us feel good. For some, the act of having sex makes them happier and feel better about themselves regardless of whether orgasms or pleasure are present.

 

The article mentions a study by Tim Wadsworth that I think holds true, to a certain extent. It concluded that our happiness from sex is determined more by how much sex the people around us are having.

 

Basically, having more sex than everyone around you makes you happier. Conversely, everyone around you having more sex than you are can actually decrease your happiness.

 

The argument this study makes is a social one. We are social creatures and identify a large part of ourselves through our social environment. Therefore, comparing ourselves to this environment makes us feel a certain way.

 

However, I believe this only holds true if having sex plays a significant role in your life.

 

If you don’t care much for having sex, whether you or the people around you are having it will not have much effect on your happiness. Odds are that there are other things that you pursue in life that give you more fulfillment.

 

I also believe, no matter your gender, your ability to have sex plays a part in the claims of this study.

 

Maybe you do care a lot about having sex, and finding partners or having sex with your current partner isn’t a hassle. In that situation, the sex people around you are having wouldn’t affect the happiness you receive from sex. In a sense, you could be having as much sex as those people if you wanted to.

But if you care a lot about having sex and aren’t having it frequently, the amount of sex people around you are having can have a strong negative affect on your happiness.

I’ve seen this happen to a number of my friends, and in that sense I agree with the study.

 

In general, I believe sex makes us happy, to a certain extent. This extent depends on the individual and what they value in life.

 

I highly value sex, because it’s fun, pleasurable and creates a bond with another person. Sex makes me happy, but it may not be the same for the next person.

What matters is pursuing what makes you happy and what gives you the most enjoyment out of life. If sex makes you happy, then I say go get ‘em, tiger.

Michael Karp can be reached at [email protected] or @_MichaelKarp on Twitter.

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The O-Face: Sexual competition, contentment