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Etiquette lesson: Having sex while roommates are home

Sophia Xepoleas

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Illustration by J.Q. Hammer

Your hormones are raging, your blood is pumping and you’re ready to go. You’re about to be taken down a road of sexual exploration and are nothing short of pumped.

You’re about to enter pound town. Population: you and your plus one.

But then it dawns on you. Your roommates are home.

Roommates are relatively ideal in many situations. You split rent and other expenses, and you also have someone to hang out with when you get home from a long day.

Having sex while these companions are home is a whole different story. This is where roommate relationships start to get tricky.

When it comes time for you and your partner to lust and thrust, your roommates may be along for the ride as well.

Best-case scenario:

They not only understand, but also cheer you on in the process. This breed not only condones your explicit behavior, they celebrate it.

He or she might even do you a solid and blast Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On” in an attempt to heighten your experience.

Worst-case scenario:

Your roommates not only try to avoid hearing this activity, but it makes them genuinely uncomfortable.

How exactly do you approach someone and explain to them that the volume of their sexual interactions could be brought down to more hush tones?

While it may be an awkward conversation to have, it could make for a more civil living situation in the long run. Resent is a very real thing, and there’s nothing worse than seeing a new side to someone you respect and viewing them differently as a result.

Unfortunately, some find that keeping it down in the sack may decrease their pleasure during sex.

There are ways to counteract this while also staying at a respectful volume. Here are some things to consider.

Try different breathing patterns.

Fighting the urge to make any organic sounds will only distract you from the activity at hand. Breathing harder or louder can not only help to keep your rhythm, but it also allows your partner to know that what they’re doing is working.

Take it to the floor.

Beds are inherently noisy and when taking part in this sometimes-vigorous activity, it may be best to get creative. Although not as comfortable, you may even find this to be less distracting and even more exciting.

Just because sex stereotypically takes place on a bed doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily the most exciting place for it.

Get creative with the situation at hand. It may not only be beneficial to your roommates, but to you and your partner as well.

It all comes down to knowing your boundaries.

Successful roommate situations are usually the result of an overall respect for each other and a certain level of consideration. This is also accompanied by a relatively healthy means of communication. So don’t be afraid to discuss your thoughts and preferences about your roommate’s babymakin’ bedroom noises.

Sophia Xepoleas can be reached at [email protected] or @soph_mxx on Twitter.

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Etiquette lesson: Having sex while roommates are home