Dominant personalities struggle with relationships


Photo credit: Kristina Judy

Chivalry to most guys these days equates to oppression in the minds of women. Men feel they can’t do anything right. Women feel they have no voice.

Besides the messy hookup culture of our generation, a new epidemic is spreading through modern romance, the fight for the dominant position in the relationship.

Our society echoes equality towards women. These efforts reach for equal pay, equal treatment on the job, less objectification of their bodies, and more voice in their personal relationships.

When in a relationship, people often take on the personality of their significant other to feel more connected. Anxiety, stress and depression weld together in attempts for approval from that one person who is supposed to love them.

Being “needy” puts a person in a submissive position and shows weakness. The dominant person controls their emotions and is usually the one who wears the pants.

In today’s society, more women are taking over the “male” role and not everyone is happy about it. Women want to make the decisions in areas such as driving, picking up the tab and opening their own doors.

Because of this, some men feel their value dwindles if they don’t hold the power in those areas anymore. Meanwhile, some taught that by not doing these things they are being rude or selfish.

Some women feel that it’s time for a power shift. However, I’ve been told many times before I seem to be “the male” in my relationships, simply because I come off as the main caretaker. This perpetuates the “breadwinning” label, which is overrated. The idea that whoever makes the most or spends the most in the relationship gets the most control is outdated.

Relationships shouldn’t be a battle over who is in charge. While some females expect their significant others to be the provider of all their materialistic needs, other’s might want to be the primary role.

The job of either person in a relationship is to only be a provider, and love isn’t measured in what money can buy. Relationships based on equality and love, last longer. There’s no point of being in one if not for the long run.

One isn’t useless by not being the primary caregiver and others just want to feel heard and contribute in the same ways without a power struggle ensuing.

Rather than relying on traditional gender roles, choosing to see your partner as equal in a relationship will help it last. A relationship doesn’t need to have a dominant person, both people should provide the same amount and be able to express their emotions.

Girlfriends aren’t your mothers and boyfriends aren’t your bosses. Keeping that in mind is one way to end the negative stereotype of one wearing “pants” in a relationship.

Kyra Stemplinger can be reached at [email protected] or @theorion_news on Twitter.