People don’t like it, but it happens. Faking it. Orgasms, that is. Whether you’re guilty of it or you’ve caught your partner in the act, it can hurt someone’s self-esteem, trust in relationships and overall satisfaction in bed.

There seems to be a stigma when it comes to “finishing” when having sex. If it doesn’t happen to everyone involved, then the sex was unsatisfactory. However, that’s not always the case.

The truth is, the act of sex itself doesn’t always have to include orgasms. Porn, stigma in the media and other myths that Millennials have learned in the horrific sexual education system taught us that sex ends after people with penises ejaculate.

Why does that have to be the case?

Sex should be fun with no expectations. If your partner doesn’t orgasm every time, it doesn’t mean that they are unsatisfied in bed.

According to health.com, there are multiple reasons that someone might not be able to reach climax during sex. Those include physical injuries, hormone problems or stress. The act of having sex means sharing a close moment with someone that you might care about. People shouldn’t feel bad when things don’t work out every time.

However, it’s not okay to lie about it. Lying about anything in relationships is unhealthy and can lead to trust issues and negative sexual tension down the line. Being honest, truthful and not judging partners will benefit everyone involved even if it does seem awkward to talk about at first.

In a Twitter poll, we found that 49 percent of individuals responding had faked an orgasm in their life. Note that this poll is not accurate enough to describe the true percentage of people, but it gives us a small glimpse. Furthermore, the reasons behind it give an insight on how to solve this problem.

“I think girls fake it to make the guy feel better, especially during a one night stand. It’s hard to be completely comfortable with someone if you don’t know them, and having an orgasm can be hard for girls when that’s the case,” said Breanna Margadonna, a junior psychology student at Chico State.

So what can someone do if they find themselves unsatisfied in bed? Here are two easy steps:

1) Communicate to your partners

Being honest is the first step to improving your sex life. Again, if you lie, it doesn’t do anything positive for anyone involved. Tell your partner what you like, what turns you on and what they can do to make you feel more comfortable, relaxed and what feels good. Have fun, laugh and share this experience together, you won’t regret it. Going along, if you don’t know what makes you orgasm, then how will your partner?

2) Reflect inwards

According to Cosmopolitan, having confidence in yourself is extremely important when being satisfied in bed. If you are insecure with your body or anything else sexually then you won’t be able to relax and orgasms won’t come as easily.

Solution? Spend some time with yourself, naked! Learn about your body, and accept yourself for who you are. Taking care of yourself, eating right and being nice to yourself is important. You only have one body, there isn’t enough time to hate it.

Kendall George can be reached at [email protected] or @kendallmgeorge on Twitter.