The Orion

How a lone fart set me free.

Alyssa Dunning

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Alyssa Dunning

The other day I was asking my professor if I could use the word “dick” — meaning a jerk — in my final project because it rhymed. Someone overheard and yelled out to the rest of the class that I was asking about dicks. I looked up and just nodded and laughed.

I wasn’t always this way. I used to cry and hide if I tripped or said something embarrassing. Life was miserable. Then one day, it all changed. It changed because of a fart.

A few years ago I was finishing up a class and was on some medication for who know’s what. The meds made me gassier than usual, which is a hard feat. I had made it the whole week without a single embarrassing fart-pas.

I had packed up and was saying goodbye to a friend, when all of a sudden it happened: the fart of all farts. My cheeks reddened and I ran out as quickly as possible as the aftershock farts followed me all the way out the door.

Once I made it to the outdoors I couldn’t stop laughing. I would never see anyone in that class again and decided that was a hilarious way for everyone to remember me by.

From that day on I stopped caring about every little incident that might make me flustered.

Guess what, everyone farts. They also trip, and sometimes choke on water and spit take at the gym. And guess what, it is hilarious. So it’s better to just laugh and enjoy the moment.

Alyssa Dunning can be reached at [email protected] or @alyssadunning3 on Twitter.

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How a lone fart set me free.